maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
