Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
