Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
