so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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