well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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