You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
