similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
