WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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