I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
