if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Randomize
