Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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