I feel great
I just peed on a car
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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