Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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