nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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