That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
