i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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