Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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