he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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