he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
