just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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