I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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