so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize