do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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