you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
