don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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