A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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