no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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