I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
