one might say we're banned from that church
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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