How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
