it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
