There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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