you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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