I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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