Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
