Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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