you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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