just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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