dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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