just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
