I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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