I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
