I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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