I need help removing her.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
