i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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