We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
