Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
