if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
