once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
