I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
