did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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