so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize