at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
