Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
