Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
