I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm having to shit out rocks
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
