Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Drake has all the answers
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
