And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
