I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
