I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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