can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
