2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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