Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize