youre lurking in front of me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize